tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63134482016160053962024-03-05T02:40:14.568-08:00WAR IS SCHLEPThe illustrated adventures of US Army Infantry officer, former scholar of Arabic, and borderline cartoonist.
War is SchlepLT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.comBlogger99125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-73252200325614117392013-10-08T00:31:00.001-07:002013-10-08T00:46:49.873-07:00KATUSA<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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One of the many unique features of service in Korea (like curfew and alcoholism) is the KATUSA program. There are usually 2-3 KATUSAs per platoon, and while I don't want to exaggerate their abilities, I can say that there is usually an embarrassing disparity between the KATUSAs in my battalion and the US soldiers they serve alongside. Regulated by their company's "Senior KATUSA," the battalion ROKA Sergeant Major, and weekly, secretive "KATUSA meetings," (where, perhaps, the Sergeant Major threatens to beat them) they are incredibly respectful, never have disciplinary problems, and score high on their APFT. They are successful machine gunners, clerks, team leaders, Bradley gunners, you name it.</div>
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This is not to suggest that a Korean makes a better soldier than an American. However, <i>our </i>Koreans often do, because they already went through a few selection processes. To be a KATUSA you have to win a lottery, though to compete in that you have to speak English fairly well, which probably means your family had money for English lessons and you have started university. Then, to be an infantry (possibly all combat arms) KATUSA, you have to volunteer again. So while the average ROKA draftee is nothing impressive, the guys who make it to us had to do a bit more than walk into their recruiting station and pass the ASVAB.</div>
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I haven't noticed this during joint exercises, but supposedly in the "old days" (somewhere between the establishment of the DMZ and the end of the $20 blowjobs outside the front gate) normal ROK soldiers would beat up KATUSAs whenever they saw them because of how much better off they had it with the Americans.</div>
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*Yes, the glasses really are that big. And they do only get issued one pair of boots for their two years in the Army!</div>
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-49155464155563413812013-07-31T08:53:00.001-07:002013-07-31T09:04:37.218-07:00The Bradley Fighting Vehicle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I haven't posted in a while because I was busy (for once) at gunnery, which is basically a big outing to do target practice for Bradleys and tanks. Shooting the brads is fun, but it's just a distraction from what the Bradleys really love doing, which is breaking randomly, all the time. Over the past month, every one of my four tracks has been "deadlined" (so broken that it is either unsafe or impossible to operate it) at least once. My NCOs are competent and conscientious when it comes to maintenance; this level of malfunction is just normal. At this point, I'm just relieved when one breaks down <i>inside</i> the motor pool, because that means it won't have the opportunity to break down in the middle of a Korean street* while driving to a training area, at which point recovering it becomes the definition of a schlep.<br />
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Anyone who's seen the masterpiece <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144550/" target="_blank">The Pentagon Wars </a> knows the Bradley is a fundamentally ridiculous vehicle. And after discovering their compulsion to break down, I had only contempt for the BFV. However, after eight months with the damn thing, like an ugly dog, I couldn't help but feel affection toward it. Mech for life. And yeah, it beats sleeping on the ground (don't worry, my brad still leaks on my when it rains hard enough).<br />
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*To the best of my knowledge, Iraq and Korea are the only two places the Army will let you drive a bradley through urban areas.<br />
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PS I drew this whole thing freehand with a random pen, no tracing/pencil/tablet, just some corrections once I scanned it!</div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-22807904702594539562013-06-17T06:44:00.000-07:002013-06-17T06:48:06.220-07:00Level Up<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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As per usual, no excuse for not drawing other than I was sitting in my room eating salmon and watching <i>The Colbert Report</i>. I did go on what was certainly the best vacation ever undertaken in USFK history, but sadly that only filled a few blurry weeks.<br />
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If you can do math at all, you know I actually got promoted a while ago. It was still a milestone for having survived the Army for 18 months (maybe not a huge accomplishment if you don't fight in Afghanistan or enjoy drunk driving; though I think I did almost boil myself to death in a Taiwanese spring). Also we get paid more, which is important when you have the spending habits I've cultivated in this not-particularly-inexpensive city. And, most importantly, the distinct sense of superiority over the <i>second</i> lieutenants. One actually tried to salute me - don't worry, I corrected her. After she saluted, of course.<br />
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PS Thanks for my friends/fans who are trying to get me to post more. I'll try to get motivated to get off my ass and sit on my ass to draw something proper.<br />
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-19659918605177057492013-04-30T07:39:00.002-07:002013-04-30T07:40:23.678-07:00The St. Paddy's Day Massacre<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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All this and more really happened, and things got a little stupider. And probably because I said "how could things possibly get any stupider?" some of my OWN soldiers decided to get in trouble in stupid ways, and it got stupider again. And then it started raining.<br />
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As I suspected f<a href="http://warisschlep.blogspot.kr/2012/11/pretty-much-gist-of-all-of-welcome-to.html" target="_blank">rom my first day on the peninsula</a>, the US Army in Korea has several priorities ahead of combat readiness - foremost among them keeping soldiers from causing public relations disasters with the Korean public and government. Stars & Stripes has a pretty good archive of them (including the illustrated incidents) here: <a href="http://www.stripes.com/news/pacific/bad-behavior-in-the-pacific" target="_blank">Bad Behavior in the Pacific.</a><br />
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The command's options to affect this are pretty limited: Curfews, restrictions, mass punishment, and blaming the next level of leadership beneath them. Our apparently enlightened Division Commander published a letter suggesting that giving all soldiers a psychological screening before they came to Korea would still be cheaper than the legal and administrative costs of a few troubled soldiers getting in serious trouble. He also recommended that the Army <i>not</i> send young, brand-new soldiers here, and stop sending misbehaving soldiers here as a punishment (Korea is one destination for soldiers who get kicked out of Ranger Regiment). Pretty forward-thinking, right? (In the Army, stating the obvious is usually about as avant-garde as it gets. Do so at your own risk).<br />
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The only actual solution (too obvious for the good General to say out loud) is to stop sending all these soldiers here in the first place. Those of you in the military will know that's true, and those of you familiar with the actual security situation in Korea will not be alarmed by that idea.<br />
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P.S. For my readers familiar with neither Korea or the Army, please don't get the idea that Korea is some kind of cesspool of military vice. Well, my area is, but much <i>less</i> so than any base stateside, where the frequency* and severity of offenses outmatches anything USFK does. The key difference is that when you punch a cop outside Ft. Bragg, it doesn't become an international incident.<br />
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*With the exception of sexual assault. US Army Korea leads the force there.</div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-38059047423151929212013-03-30T02:37:00.000-07:002013-03-30T02:37:06.750-07:00What war with North Korea is like<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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War has been declared! I'm doing my part by going to Uijeongbu in half an hour to eat dinner and get drunk.<br />
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Once again, I learn of North Korea's latest antics from my (stateside) friends on Facebook. Nobody in 2ID talks about it. CNN beat me to it and "broke" the "story" that <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2013/03/29/world/asia/south-korea-clancy-reaction/index.html?hpt=hp_c1" target="_blank">nobody gives a shit</a>. We don't, because:<br />
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1. Nobody believes North Korea would actually invade the south.<br />
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2. If they did actually initiate a proper war, everyone on Camp Casey would probably be dead instantly, so there's no reason not to spend tonight out on the town anyway.</div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-20315862810711806912013-03-13T06:48:00.001-07:002013-04-30T07:41:11.181-07:00Spring Break Forever<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It's high time I talked about what Korea is like (not to be confused with 8th Army (US Forces Korea), which is a lovable if sometimes frustrating organization but not an east Asian country). And by Korea, I mean Seoul - home to half Korea's population, and to me for 48-72 hours per week. Maybe I feel a need to justify my transfer to Korea, maybe the Bismarck, North Dakota of Korea that hosts my base is just too depressing, maybe I have a (super healthy) emotional dependence on drinking, girls, and bars, or maybe I'm just trying to get it all in before <a href="http://www.stripes.com/news/pacific/bad-behavior-in-the-pacific/soldier-shot-by-s-korean-police-during-late-night-car-chase-1.210327" target="_blank">idiot soldiers</a>/<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21751226" target="_blank">North Korea</a> cancel passes forever, but I hop the train to Seoul every weekend.*<br />
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The city is massive, public transit and infrastructure put most US cities to shame (which the exception of their sewage system - walk around for 10 minutes and you'll know what I mean), alcohol is everywhere (the 24/7 convenience stores on every block could usually stock a small bar - and sometimes people use them that way), and there are seemingly infinite places to go at night.<br />
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Korean people are certainly different than populations I've encountered anywhere else in the world in ways that range from charming to infuriating. Don't be surprised if an 80-year-old woman wordlessly body-checks you in the metro because you're in her way (or maybe just because she doesn't like you?)<br />
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*Don't worry, I didn't mean to imply I was an alcoholic. And if I ever wondered, a quick conversation with my NCOs about <i>their</i> drinking habits has assured me that I have a long, long way to go.<br />
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PS Yes, some of the Korean in this comic is jibberish. This is an autobiographical webcomic milblog by a listless junior officer, not a Korean textbook. I apologize for any confusion.</div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-70425388693745247052013-02-04T03:04:00.001-08:002013-02-04T03:07:53.387-08:00First Month as PL<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hard to believe I've already been a PL for a month, and in Korea for three months, a full quarter of my tour (but who's counting? Other than literally every soldier in Korea?).<br />
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I haven't been around long enough to have a clue what I'm doing, but I have been able to make some basic assessments about my unit. My platoon is probably not representative of the US Army, but as one of the six Infantry platoons in US Forces Korea, I will venture that we are representative of an Infantry platoon in Korea.<br />
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I was worried about showing up knowing nothing about the Bradley Fighting Vehicle, but it's okay, because pretty much no one else does, either. Ten guys in each company would be a generous estimate. Don't worry, I'll learn more the next time we take them out of the motor pool. Which would be gunnery.<br />
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At the risk of sounding like that 60-year-old E-7 complaining about how nobody knows how to build tank traps or collect rain using boot laces anymore: The soldiers lack some basic soldier skills. I don't mean all the <a href="http://www.armystudyguide.com/content/SMCT_CTT_Tasks/Skill_Level_1/index.shtml" target="_blank">Skill Level 1 Tasks</a>, which are the Army's helpful benchmark/fantasy of skills all soldiers <i>should </i>have (if you think you're actually at the standard, ask your favorite soldier how to react to depleted uranium). I mean that a number of them can't move under a load very well... which is the most elementary and vital task for infantry other than knowing how to use their weapons. Physical fitness in general is pretty low.<br />
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If we went to war here, I assume the Bradleys would get shelled by the North Koreans or probably just break down later, and we'd be on our feet in the mountains. The Brigade (and Division?) Commander must have the same concern, because my company does an extraordinary number of air assault missions considering we're mechanized.<br />
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Which suits me just fine, for now, because as you should know, 1) I don't know much about mech, and 2) I'm good at rucking, and now I have a good reason to push the platoon until they're good at it, too.<br />
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-66499739132386204852013-01-13T05:27:00.000-08:002013-01-13T05:27:10.207-08:00First day as PL<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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After an impressive year-and-a-half of armed camping trips and extracurricular partying funded by the American taxpayer, I am an Infantry Platoon Leader (also, after a mercifully short stint in purgatory... er, staff).<br />
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As a new garrison PL, you'll see that if you suddenly evaporated tomorrow, your platoon would continue to function without any disruption (on account of the half-dozen NCOs who have been soldiering since before I hit puberty). However, I will do my best to influence my platoon in a positive way, so that, you know, my existence has a purpose. And, perhaps, one day my veneer of authority could develop into actual authority. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.<br />
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-55258271511129547852012-12-28T04:04:00.000-08:002013-01-01T13:52:57.091-08:00Show Me Your Papers!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This is my longest comic by far, approached only by an <a href="http://warisschlep.blogspot.kr/2009/02/big-comic-i-meet-girl-in-israel.html" target="_blank">early work about meeting an Arab girl</a>... that should tell you everything you need to know about who I am.</div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-31738369021140913052012-12-21T08:25:00.001-08:002012-12-21T08:36:07.549-08:00Staff Infection<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
This (very abridged) story neatly sums up my experience working in staff. When I was in ROTC, I assumed you commissioned and immediately began leading a platoon. In IBOLC I learned that officers waiting for leadership slots would work in staff, helping run their battalion behind the scenes. But I had absolutely no idea what that actually entailed. And with good reason. A battalion's staff is basically a lot of sad captains running around dealing with an endless stream of challenges that the average line soldier (or CDT Schlep) literally could not imagine exist: Corrections of corrections of Risk Assessments (see previous post), Generals' visits, elaborate treasure hunts to determine the location and ownership of property, slideshow/spreadsheet beautification projects, briefings about briefings, surprise deconflictions (get the S6, Alpha's UAVs are operating on the same frequency as Korean electric toothbrushes!), and many more planning, personnel, and supply issues that I still don't even know about.<br />
<br />
Unless you are supremely lucky (which, if you've learned anything from this blog, you know is the most important skill to have in the Army), you will find yourself on staff at some point. It may not be while you're an LT, but the siren's call of staff will draw you in eventually (oh yeah - don't think that just because you're an Armor/Infantry officer or a 2LT/1LT/CPT you won't become your battalion S1 or S4!)<br />
<br />
However, I'm fortunate enough to be working under a group of capable, friendly captains with an interest in teaching (which is called "developing" in the Army) us ambient lieutenants. I only hope they all find their way to company command before staff work completely devours their souls. More importantly, I myself may be getting out of here and into a platoon sooner than I thought. All of my training* on the Bradley Fighting Vehicle will finally pay off!<br />
<br />
*I definitely have been inside a Bradley before and am totally familiarized with all the guns and cannons and lasers it probably has. </div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-82911206441095791442012-12-10T07:29:00.001-08:002012-12-10T07:53:37.914-08:00SAMPLE CW RISK ASSESSMENT.doc<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This post will mean nothing to you if you're not an officer. That's a good thing. In order to prevent any bad thing from ever happening, all Army operations (training and otherwise) must have a CRM (Consolidated Risk Management) Worksheet. You must list every possible hazard (fratricide, heat casualties, bad weather) on the CRM, then how you will mitigate it. Infantile and redundant, like much of what I do professionally, but it can be helpful in forcing you to think of ways to keep things from going wrong. And nobody's really sure about this, but the implication is that if you assess every possible risk, take steps to mitigate it, and everybody <i>still</i> dies at your APFT, you aren't held responsible. If that's not actually how they work, then I have no idea why we write them.<br />
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An example of block from the worksheet:<br />
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<div>
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<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
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<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
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mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
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<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none; margin-left: -8.1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-insideh: .75pt solid windowtext; mso-border-insidev: .75pt solid windowtext; mso-padding-alt: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-table-layout-alt: fixed;">
<tbody>
<tr style="height: 44.7pt; mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-irow: 0;">
<td style="border-left: solid windowtext 2.25pt; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext 2.25pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.0in;" width="72"><div align="center" class="MsoHeader" style="tab-stops: .5in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 7.0pt;">5.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>SUBTASK<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.5in;" width="108"><div align="center" class="MsoHeader" style="tab-stops: .5in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 7.0pt;">6.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>HAZARDS<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 45.0pt;" width="45"><div align="center" class="MsoHeader" style="tab-stops: .5in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 7.0pt;">7. INITIAL RISK LEVEL<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 175.5pt;" width="176"><div align="center" class="MsoHeader" style="tab-stops: .5in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 7.0pt;">8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>CONTROLS<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 49.5pt;" width="50"><div align="center" class="MsoHeader" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 7.0pt;">9.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>RESIDUAL RISK LEVEL<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 2.25in;" width="162"><div align="center" class="MsoHeader" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 7.0pt;">10. HOW TO IMPLEMENT<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 67.5pt;" width="68"><div align="center" class="MsoHeader" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 7.0pt;">11. HOW TO SUPERVISE (WHO)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 44.7pt; mso-yfti-irow: 1; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;">
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: solid windowtext 2.25pt; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext 2.25pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.0in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoHeader" style="tab-stops: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Handling Weapons with Blank Rounds<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.5in;" valign="top" width="108"><div class="MsoHeader" style="tab-stops: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Ear injury/ hearing loss<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 45.0pt;" valign="top" width="45"><div align="center" class="MsoHeader" style="tab-stops: .5in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">M<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 175.5pt;" valign="top" width="176"><div class="MsoHeader" style="tab-stops: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">All personnel will wear ear protection throughout
mission.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 49.5pt;" valign="top" width="50"><div align="center" class="MsoHeader" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">L<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 2.25in;" valign="top" width="162"><div class="MsoHeader">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">PCIs
before mission<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 44.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 67.5pt;" valign="top" width="68"><div class="MsoHeader">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Platoon
Leadership<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
However, because "moderation" is not part of the Army vocabulary (like "irony," "tasteful," or "personal responsibility"), a CRM will contain <i>dozens</i> of "hazards," and must be completed for EVERYTHING. We recently received guidance from a very high level that all Battalion <i>social events</i> now require CRMs. I created a pretty good one for our Hail & Fairwell that ensured proper measures would be taken to prevent fratricide incidents from soldiers playing darts in the bar.</div>
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<div>
However, that's a little too specific to be useful for most of you. So here's a great base CRM for day-to-day operations in cold weather, which might help out you LTs who are freezing your gender-appropriate genitalia off training in places like Drum, Richardson, or even Korea. Feel free to use this!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Click below or <a href="http://oi46.tinypic.com/x9b1d.jpg" target="_blank">here if it was too small</a>:</div>
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PS "Slipping on ice" and three other "hazards" listed here have made it on to actual assessments in my battalion (have to credit other LTs for some of them though). See if you can guess which ones in the comments section - I'll tell you if you're right.</div>
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-83700591195151632002012-11-19T07:58:00.001-08:002012-11-19T07:59:22.527-08:00Pretty much the gist of all of the "Welcome to Korea" briefs<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNnZTVQV32yqZg_gQBZDacgkfBgKDFXZP_A4fjORG8wZeiRwII7Gb2zNCP2C4evVnw4U0gw_9CL0tknwfh0zg3Sgg751xiBW3C_CrZwreGehAbn4KCdyGcWlznREiB0JbAcaKJm07Opv33/s1600/koreabrief.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNnZTVQV32yqZg_gQBZDacgkfBgKDFXZP_A4fjORG8wZeiRwII7Gb2zNCP2C4evVnw4U0gw_9CL0tknwfh0zg3Sgg751xiBW3C_CrZwreGehAbn4KCdyGcWlznREiB0JbAcaKJm07Opv33/s400/koreabrief.jpg" width="335" /></a></div>
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Fortunately, I'm about done with US Army Korea's version of freshmen orientation. But some of what I learned was a illumintating - apparently we lead the Army in bad behavior out here (alcohol incidents, sexual assaults, suicides, etc). Lots of soldiers (to include NCOs and officers) getting in trouble, frequently in amusing ways (for anyone other than the parties involved). Sometimes in <i>very</i> unamusing, international incident ways (you can look those up on your own if you want to lose your appetite).<br />
<br />
If you come here and endure all of the mandatory briefings and presentations desperately trying to keep you sober, alive, and out of prison, you quickly get the sense that, while standing guard against an unpredictable nuclear dictatorship, this is an army above all at war with itself.<br />
<br />
And though I'd love to leave you on that poignant cliche, I'll quickly note that I've arrived at my unit, like the people I'm with, and will be living the glamorous and enviable life of an extra lieutenant on staff until I get a platoon in a few months.</div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-40702085969571318522012-11-12T07:47:00.001-08:002012-11-13T04:33:46.141-08:00Oh Yeah I'm Over Here Now<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Remember when I didn't graduate R-school? Well, I spent so long doing that (or not doing that), that by all estimates I actually missed the chance to deploy with the 101st.* As you can imagine, this would be a rather disappointing turn of events for any new officer with ambitions of a successful career in the Infantry, or one, who, for the sake of argument, we'll say had taken the time to achieve some proficiency in both of the languages of Afghanistan. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But, I digress. The point is that I decided it was high time I had a positive experience with the Army, and got the adventure I signed up for (not that six months of pooping in the forest and filling sandbags don't count as those). So, see map below:</span></div>
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I volunteered to go to Korea - I needed a change, and in all honesty, something to get me past the envy and guilt I feel when I see half my friends galavanting around Afghanistan without me (I guess I could have just gotten off Facebook, but changing continents was definitely the easier and more enjoyable option).</div>
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I haven't been here long, but I've had a grand time so far and it looks like serving in Korea will be a truly <i>unique</i> experience. And when the year's out, of course, I can go back and try my hand at all the really run stuff a second time.</div>
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Enjoy the new banner! (You noticed, didn't you?)</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">*And just about anyone else. Believe me, I put more effort into trying to get over there than just about anyone who's not a Pakistani militant.</span></div>
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-60130268882849104842012-11-05T01:35:00.000-08:002012-11-05T01:35:18.199-08:00LT Sully<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This post is for a very dear friend of mine. He's downrange doing the real deal, and has been chronicling his experiences. As it so happens, he's a talented writer and the blog is a real page-turner (page-scroller?), so please take a look at this compelling, and ongoing account of an LT leading a platoon in combat (i.e. the opposite of my blog/career):</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.ltsully.com/" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">www.ltsully.com</span></a></div>
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-37066126052840622552012-10-24T22:47:00.001-07:002012-10-24T22:47:34.120-07:00LT Fall Fashion<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-32035992592878852042012-10-18T01:27:00.000-07:002012-10-21T10:50:40.758-07:00"what happened to war is schlep?"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">I didn't drown in in the swamps, though I did briefly try to popularize that theory. What actually happened was that this blog got a little too popular for its own good, and, while I was exploring said swamps, made its way onto the screens of the good folks from my IBOLC company. They did some detective work and figured out it was me (I suspect it didn't take them too long to sort out all of the multilingual Jewish smartasses with 101 patches in my 42-man platoon).</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I returned to Benning, I discovered that I'd been discovered amidst other troubling LT rumors about the reaction to my blog. Though loath to leave you, dear reader, in the dark, I thought it prudent to lock it up until I knew the truth/was a safe distance away. As it happened, I recently ran into some of my instructors, and our conversation went pretty much as depicted above - nobody at 2-11 was mad about it. They also wanted to be drawn into the comic, so here you are, gentlemen. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">I was further encouraged when I finally met up with Don "<a href="http://carryingthegun.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Carrying the Gun</a>" Gomez. I've out-shouted his blog before, but I feel I should do so again since we had a beer together. His blog has categories like "civil-military relations," "fieldcraft," and "reflections," whereas mine are more like "Benning," "girls," and "schlep." And, unlike me, he does not hide behind the most ineffective pseudonym since<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBprFv4AXss&playnext=1&list=PLEF09779EA0021643&feature=results_main" target="_blank"> Pea Tear Griffin</a>.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Don told me I should definitely keep up the blog (terrible advice, bro). And he almost brought a tear to my eye when he said one of the Google searches that had led to <i>his</i> blog was "what happened to war is schlep?"</span></span><br />
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-13299972415151095272012-10-17T23:13:00.000-07:002012-10-17T23:34:51.638-07:00No Dice<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">After a prodigious amount of time at R-school, I was dropped for patrols. If the point was training, I've been trained more than most (OK, more than pretty much everybody). If the point was the tab, to impress soldiers, I'm obviously lacking in that respect. I can happily say that I didn't do anything there to be ashamed of (that does not mean I never did anything absolutely ridiculous, in or out of leadership), and that I consistently earned high peer evaluations.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">I witnessed (and experienced) some of the most hilarious and tragic events of my life there, but I will respect tradition and not tell any stories (on the internet, anyway) until I've graduated. I'll go back ... eventually. But first I'd like to lead soldiers, or at least do something constructive for anybody for the first time since I've been on active duty.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal;">Being dropped was a disappointment. But I'm still in the Army, still getting paid, and can still reliably impress Middle Eastern girls, and life goes on. </span><br />
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LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-44745834502520456242012-02-25T19:22:00.003-08:002012-10-17T14:35:42.985-07:00Ranger School Tomorrow<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Time for an adventure. See you all in two months.<br />
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[EDIT 17 October 2012: Whoops!]</div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-35974196358565235662012-02-17T10:07:00.005-08:002012-10-21T10:40:30.456-07:00Box Checked<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 130%;"><br />I don't intend to offend my Infantry readers here. But how much can something really mean to me that I had to buy on my own, have a buddy attach to my uniform while we were waiting between Maneuver Center HQ and the parking lot, and that literally every student who could pass a PT test and not get injured "earned" the right to wear? It may mean more to me later, but not right now.<br /><br />All I have to say about IBOLC (until the next paragraph) is that we didn't know the time of our graduation ceremony until the day before, and it was the wrong time. The post-grad reception was held in an on-post Mexican restaurant that nobody knew the location of, and it turned out that the cadre were also handing out final evals and diplomas there. Can't make this stuff up.<br /><br />I know more now than I did before IBOLC, though it's a modest amount considering that I was there for the equivalent of a college semester. I want to mention all the important things I didn't learn, but that would almost feel like an OPSEC violation. Suffice it to say that you, my soldiers, and the Taliban would be quite surprised.<br /></span></div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-23092673035007578792012-02-16T18:56:00.001-08:002012-02-16T19:07:36.823-08:00IBOLC in graphics<div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 497px; height: 1614px;" src="http://i41.tinypic.com/whl7d2.jpg" /></div>LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-48894810357565374852012-01-29T09:43:00.000-08:002012-01-29T10:04:57.230-08:00Urban Ops<div><div><br /><div><div><br /><div><div><br /><img style="width: 798px; height: 352px;" src="http://i43.tinypic.com/2zxxop5.jpg" /></div></div><br /><div><div><br /><div><div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-25815286774008992912012-01-22T02:29:00.000-08:002012-11-01T08:53:19.862-07:00Oh yeah, I met Matt Gallager in NY! (also blog shout-outs)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">I went to New York City for a few days to celebrate New Year's Eve. It turned out to be a rather humbling night. I checked off the requisites of friends, alcohol, and girls ... but very not in the way I expected. Suffice to say that the night took me through two more boroughs than I wanted it to.</span><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><span style="font-family: georgia;">A highlight of the week (I can't call it </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 130%; font-style: italic;">the</span><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"> highlight, because that would make my New Year's seem </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 130%; font-style: italic;">too </span><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">depressing) was getting to meet up with </span><a href="http://kerplunkjournal.blogspot.com/" style="font-family: georgia;">Matt Gallagher</a><span style="font-family: georgia;">. If you're reading this blog and you don't know who he is ... that's like not have heard of brisket until you found it in an MRE (apologies to my non-Army friends reading, you guys are exempted, and probably didn't understand that last simile, either).</span><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Matt was a Cavalry PL in Iraq and kept a simply fantastic </span><a href="http://kaboomwarjournalarchive.blogspot.com/" style="font-family: georgia;">blog</a><span style="font-family: georgia;"> (later </span><a href="http://kaboombook.com/default.asp" style="font-family: georgia;">book</a><span style="font-family: georgia;">), which I followed raptly until he was ordered to close it down after a post that was less than discrete about his feelings for his Battalion Commander. He bears a good share of the responsibility for me making the dumb decision to join the Army, and even more responsibility for the even dumber decision to keep a blog during the shitshow (whoops, meant to write "experience").</span><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I met him at a packed bar (of </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Horse_Tavern_%28New_York_City%29" style="font-family: georgia;">literary significance</a><span style="font-family: georgia;">, he told me), and I will respectfully say that we had a better, less awkward time than <a href="http://warisschlep.blogspot.com/2011/05/capitol-fun.html">when I met</a> my </span><a href="http://www.cnas.org/blogs/abumuqawama" style="font-family: georgia;">other Army internet hero</a><span style="font-family: georgia;"> (Exum, if you're still checking this blog, I definitely plan to have breakfast with you again, just after my career has progressed some and we have a little more to talk about).</span><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><span style="font-family: georgia;">P.S. Let me take this opportunity to plug some other military bloggers I recently discovered. They're special, because they're Infantry 2LTs, just like me (and I'm definitely special because of my blog, so they have to be, too).</span><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><a href="http://jimmiepopp.blogspot.com/" style="font-family: georgia;">I'll Sleep When I'm Dead</a><span style="font-family: georgia;"> - This guy is just hilarious. The blog's a pretty detailed description of the IN Officer training cycle that actually makes me laugh out loud.</span><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><br face="georgia" /><a href="http://fearandloathingintheinfantry.com/" style="font-family: georgia;">Fear and Loathing in the Infantry</a><span style="font-family: georgia;"> - As the title suggests, this gentleman offers a slightly more literary (which is to say his writing exceeds my late-night Facebook-wall-post level) and thoughtful take on Infantry bizness and other matters of the day. Unlike my other awardees to the coveted War is Schlep postscript space, he has not acknowledged my existence, but according to his blog he has giant eyebrows, so it shouldn't be too hard to ID him if we ever cross paths. He's pretty funny, too.</span><br face="georgia" /><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Also, there's </span><a href="http://carryingthegun.wordpress.com/" style="font-family: georgia;">Carrying the Gun</a><span style="font-family: georgia;">, who is older and smarter than all of us. I write "smarter," even though he already has all the combat experience and advanced study I could ever want and is <span style="font-style: italic;">still</span> becoming an IN officer.</span><br style="font-family: georgia;" /><br face="georgia" /><br face="georgia" /><span style="font-family: georgia;">P.P.S. While putting together this post, I discovered that all of these guys as well as surprisingly a sizable number of other LTs all have active Twitter accounts. I'm not quite ready to go all the way like that (my Facebook friends are enough of an audience for the vagaries I urgently have to share with others throughout the day) . At any rate, half of their Tweets just seem to be in reference to something Gallagher or Exum put up.</span></span></div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-90444954737730744532012-01-22T00:22:00.000-08:002012-01-22T00:44:18.557-08:00Winter Leave<img style="width: 772px; height: 324px;" src="http://i44.tinypic.com/jslxch.jpg" /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Little did I know (because I don't read the schedule) that in the coming weeks, I'd be logging more than enough wooded nighttime machine gunning (which in no way kept me too busy to draw - chalk that up to IBOLC-induced ennui). Just one big exercise left, and I'll finally be done with the Army's slowest pre-ranger program.</span></span>LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-30535374348212324472011-12-25T12:23:00.000-08:002012-10-17T14:30:28.543-07:00Who knew there was so much coloring in the Infantry?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">He who exerts effort into IBOLC... gets what he deserves. </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia;">The next platoon OPORD I "brief" will just be the company order, imprinted in Silly Putty.</span></span><span style="font-size: 130%;">P.S. In another navel-gazing PT postcript, I more than maxed everything on our RPFT. It's not easy finding time to work out during BOLC, between time in the field, time sleeping, and the burdens of being lazy, so after those<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"> surprising results </span>I was most contentedly staring at my navel.<br /><br />We later did a free-for-all 8-mile ruck march with some 60-70 pounds (decided not to weigh in for psychological edge. Ignorance is bliss!). I came in, wheezing and dripping, at a cool 1:31 - I was in the top quartile or so (don't get to use that word a lot), but the hard-chargers who beat me were pushing pretty humbling paces below 10-minute miles! Still, I'm a far cry from <a href="http://warisschlep.blogspot.com/2009/02/ruck-this-schlep.html">these days</a>.</span></div>
LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448201616005396.post-60786488231801508302011-12-12T17:35:00.000-08:002012-01-15T19:06:36.703-08:00Rendezvous with Destiny!<div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 575px; height: 550px;" src="http://i40.tinypic.com/s5a5qg.jpg" /><br /></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">I did it again (it took all of my self-restraint not to begin that sentence with "oops"). Switched from 1ID to 82 to ... 101. I'd been looking to get out of the 82nd once I realized how my deployment would line up - if I went through Ranger School on my first try, and hopped straight into Airborne (this is based on a hypothetical alternate universe where Headquarters Company becomes efficient and helpful while I'm at Ranger), there would still only be a maximum of four months left in the deployment, making it less likely that I'd get a platoon there (deployed with no platoon means staff work ... just in another country).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">And if I </span></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >did </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">recycle Ranger School, I'd have to kiss Afghanistan goodbye. And then I would have been studying all this Dari and Pashto for nothing. </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Damn the military-linguistic complex.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">So I looked to the next unit on my wish list, the 101st Airborne (Air Assault (it's not actually Airborne any more (but they can't change the name because the WWII vets get mad (the </span></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Band of Brothers</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"> guys)))). Every brigade deploying, and a fine unit to boot. The branch manager said he couldn't get me in without a by-name request. So I emailed a very nice letter to an S1 with the usual bits (Pathfinder, PT score, favorable comments from ex-girlfriends). And got my orders changed the next day.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I'm now set to deploy in the Fall, which means I have ample time to recycle Ranger School (which is not my intention, but spend a week at Benning and you'll hear enough horror stories that you begin to doubt that anyone has ever graduated Ranger School, ever) and get into other training schools.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I won't be a paratrooper, but I will get to go to Afghanistan, be in the only existing Air Assault unit, and live a short drive from Nashville (I've started listening to country music to prepare myself).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Mostly, I think I'm just excited to know that I will be one of a very select group of Americans who know how to spell both "lieutenant" and "</span><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6oto9nzYc4">rendezvous</a><span style="font-family:georgia;">."</span><br /></span>LT SCHLEPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305201109030088676noreply@blogger.com1