Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Thursday, October 18, 2012

"what happened to war is schlep?"

I didn't drown in in the swamps, though I did briefly try to popularize that theory. What actually happened was that this blog got a little too popular for its own good, and, while I was exploring said swamps, made its way onto the screens of the good folks from my IBOLC company. They did some detective work and figured out it was me (I suspect it didn't take them too long to sort out all of the multilingual Jewish smartasses with 101 patches in my 42-man platoon).

When I returned to Benning, I discovered that I'd been discovered amidst other troubling LT rumors about the reaction to my blog. Though loath to leave you, dear reader, in the dark, I thought it prudent to lock it up until I knew the truth/was a safe distance away. As it happened, I recently ran into some of my instructors, and our conversation went pretty much as depicted above - nobody at 2-11 was mad about it. They also wanted to be drawn into the comic, so here you are, gentlemen. 

I was further encouraged when I finally met up with Don "Carrying the Gun" Gomez. I've out-shouted his blog before, but I feel I should do so again since we had a beer together. His blog has categories like "civil-military relations," "fieldcraft," and "reflections," whereas mine are more like "Benning," "girls," and "schlep." And, unlike me, he does not hide behind the most ineffective pseudonym since Pea Tear Griffin.

Don told me I should definitely keep up the blog (terrible advice, bro). And he almost brought a tear to my eye when he said one of the Google searches that had led to his blog was "what happened to war is schlep?"

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

No Dice

After a prodigious amount of time at R-school, I was dropped for patrols. If the point was training, I've been trained more than most (OK, more than pretty much everybody). If the point was the tab, to impress soldiers, I'm obviously lacking in that respect. I can happily say that I didn't do anything there to be ashamed of (that does not mean I never did anything absolutely ridiculous, in or out of leadership), and that I consistently earned high peer evaluations.

I witnessed (and experienced) some of the most hilarious and tragic events of my life there, but I will respect tradition and not tell any stories (on the internet, anyway) until I've graduated. I'll go back ... eventually. But first I'd like to lead soldiers, or at least do something constructive for anybody for the first time since I've been on active duty.

Being dropped was a disappointment. But I'm still in the Army, still getting paid, and can still reliably impress Middle Eastern girls, and life goes on.