Saturday, December 18, 2010

On the Road Again

After long, colorful, ethnic deliberation, the Schlep family decided to winter in Morocco this year. This may be my last opportunity to galavant around the world (read: drink, get lost, some times in that order, sometimes not) before I begin my training/swallow what's left of my dignity to work at LDAC. You may be surprised to learn that Morocco is quite near my old stomping grounds of Beirut - you should be very surprised, because they're actually not near each other at all. In fact, you'd half to cross the entire African continent widthwise to get from Casablanca to Beirut - but I bought the tickets anyway.

Due to Europe's chronic woes of snow and unionization, our Delta connection through Paris was cancelled. Instead, we're flying a long straight shot from New York to Casablanca - with Royal Air Maroc. From what I've read, it's, well, a third-world airline lacking many of the comforts characteristic of 21st century air travel (movies, possibly food) and doesn't exactly make up for them with great service. Discomfort, unhelpful Arabs, and schleps are practically my specialties - but combine those with the company of a few females who share my blood and survival might be an issue.

After two weeks with my family (I mean two weeks in scenic North Africa) I'll be more than thrilled to spend New Year's Eve in Beirut. I'm meeting up with some school friends who are studying at AUB. Inshallah they'll handle the girls and club reservations - I'm bringing the Four Loko.*

*Original caffeinated, of course.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Top Banana

As of our awards ceremony Wednesday, I'm the new Battalion Commander!
The announcement actually came as something of a surprise, since the other school in the BN held command last semester and my school only has five MSIVs (after two dropouts, two who got bumped back to the limbo of being a III/IV, and a December graduate). It's more work, of course - but I just wouldn't feel right if it was someone else behind the wheel when this 18-wheeler shoots off a cliff..

There will be blood!

The will be more of my infamous safety briefs!

There will be pull-up bars, paintball mines, and meticulously animated PowerPoint slides!

There will be times that cadre turn to each other and question why they put me in charge of everything - but in the end, despite my opaque and questionable methods, they'll see I knew what I was doing all along. That, or in the end I'll graduate and become a lieutenant (spelled it right on the third try) anyway!

God help you all.

-Banana 1-6 out.