After a year of begging, badgering, and fellating my ROTC cadre, I have finally secured a spot at Air Assault School! Air Assault is a 10-day course that basically teaches you to tie big things to helicopters, including, climatically, yourself (see below).
Apparently, learning to strap things together isn't all that hard, so the training cadre fill the rest of the course with painful physical training (what Army folk call "getting smoked"). The last event is a 12 mile (!) ruck march... that was the purpose of the suffering depicted in my post about rucking.
A cadet who already completed the course advised me that it's easy enough if "you can run and you're at all smart."
Well, I can run.
P.S. I am excited about this like an extra in a Grease musical number. Summer days, in sweaty ACUs, but oh, those summer nights!